Walking home on Sunday night
I passed a couple at a bus stop
Loving each other
With eyes locked into eyes
And arms locked into arms,
And just as I reached them,
I heard him say,
You know something I’ve always
Wanted to do but couldn’t do?
And though I wanted to stay
And listen,
I knew it wasn’t meant for me,
So I just made up the rest,
I want to race an airplane on a runway
And win, till it crosses me by,
It’ll be a short race,
I want to bite the end of the cone off
And suck the whole scoop through it,
I want to make love under a streetlight
(To which I’d like to imagine she’d push
him away, but just so)
I want to play hobo for a day, then take
All the loose change and toss it into the Thames,
Watching the tuppence plop, one by one,
I want to pretend I’m a busker playing an
Exotic instrument, when in fact I’d just be
Beating an old shoe box,
I want to read the Ulysses and get past
Page 255 for once,
I want to burn my laptop, Blackberry, iPad,
(And she would remind him he didn’t have an iPad)
I want to own an iPad… to burn,
(Yeah right, she’d say, but how will I reach you?)
Just call my name,
(She’d laugh- That’s silly!),
Shh… I want to find a magic lamp and wish
That I may breathe you forever,
Breathing me,
So that’s what I thought he’d want to do
That he couldn’t do,
As for me, I wanted to call someone,
And hear her say,
I might be stirring the hornet’s nest here. So be it.
Late last year standing outside my office in Mumbai, surrounded by a posse of alms seekers, and feeling no empathy for them (we are pretty immune in India), I had a couple of quick thoughts.
Every human being should serve a purpose if she or he is willing and physically / mentally able
Over population can also be read as an opportunity to tap massive human resources (credit for this reasoning goes to Amit Varma of India Uncut)
Energy resources are depleting
What can we do with this posse of alms seekers?
BANG!
Get them to generate power!
How?
Rig up a power station with treadmills and get the homeless / under privileged but otherwise healthy adults to run on them for 2-4 hours a day and create electricity to power Mumbai.
Offer incentives like proper housing, schooling for kids, medical treatment and overall rehabilitation. Let them earn their living as the so called privileged class does.
Mumbai had 300,000 estimated beggars in 2006. If every person generates 100W, think of the energy potential. I’m no mathematician but I’ll be damned if that doesn’t light up a bulb.
However, the idea has gone through a few iterations. As it turns out, treadmills are rather power hungry with 1500W needed to run them. Using exercise bikes or bicycles are a more feasible solution.
Also, there are a few raised eyebrows. Is this in some way akin to slavery or perhaps is it a human rights violation? Perhaps not. If rehabilitation is thought out intelligently, and with more empathy than I can muster, this might just prove beneficial to the underprivileged. There is a give and take involved. A man who no one would hire (socialite aunties can snub their noses now) pedals 4 hours a day and the state offers him a better standard of living. Employment opportunities are created and energy requirements have a rather large finite range. Everybody gets a job, albeit a temporary one till the person can stand on his own two feet and hopefully not too wobbly from all that exercise.
This doesn’t end here. Communities can set up their own energy camps. With the proper state sponsored rig, small societies can power their own homes and offices.
Out of the way, stuck in the wilderness villages, forgotten or ignored people, can power their own region with this rig. Schools can be powered up. That light bulb that lets the child study after sun down can be powered up. Think about it.
So what are the questions still pending?
Well… one biggie is of the human condition. How does one motivate a beggar to accept this opportunity? Rationally, if she’s able, there is no reason why she shouldn’t. But then, rationality isn’t really our strength.
Also, how can the bicycle rig be designed to be cost effective? Think of it from a third world perspective. We have so many engineers, if you know anyone who might have an idea, please ask them to get in touch. I really do want to play around with this thought. The target to be generated is 100W or more with 2-4 hours of pedaling.
Finally, will the local government be open to this? What are the barriers it can put up? Let’s discuss this point. Seriously.
Frankly, human generated energy is not a new idea. Nor is using bicycles for that matter.
Village schools in Africa are powered by 45 minutes of play on a see saw.
A merry go round enables village women to draw water from a well.
A gym powers its air conditioners with the use of treadmills.
Dancers in a nightclub help generate enough power to keep it running all night long.
The solutions are everywhere. They are fun. And they are human. Need some more inspiration? Check out this post from GreenDiary.com.
Have an opinion? Share it with me and the rest of the readers. Hate this idea? Let’s slug it out. Love this idea? Let’s work on it.
We don’t take kids seriously. We take ourselves too seriously. Which is why Santa is dead, Imaginary Friends have left the building and the horrible closet from our childhood doesn’t have skeletons, it has a 200 megaton nuclear bomb and a BIG RED BUTTON in the drawer.
So, I was at this amazing talk on codes and code breaking by Simon Singh, the author of The Code Book and other killer pop-science books. He did a little show and tell with a vintage gizmo called The Enigma. It was basically a really tricky code making gadget used by the Nazis to piss off the Allies.
Secret codes were generated using an insane set of permutations and combinations and the British code breakers, and Alan Turing (big daddy of the modern computer) were draining the country off it’s tea reserves trying to hack the damn thing.
Simon Singh bounced off some numbers and asked the audience to guess how many combinations of codes were possible. A little boy raised his hands. People sniggered. Simon Singh asked him to name a number over 100 if he could, and the boy went, “umm… yeah… umm… I know the answer,” more sniggering from the audience and the kid says, “20 factorial 6 into 2 factorial 6,” or something like that. It completely stumped Mr. Singh. He finally had to admit he wasn’t quite sure of the answer himself but it ranged in the vicinity of a hundred million million… million. Which as it happens is really close to the little boy’s qualified guess.
Later, snooping around Simon Singh, trying to touch the Enigma (yeah I’m that kind of geek so sue me), it all fell into place. The kid’s a prodigy. He’s studying university level mathematics and has a fascination for probability. And while others were chatting around, Doogie Howser tapped the keys of the Enigma, as kids usually do, and ended up throwing some other crazy numbers that brought around a moment of uncomfortable, uncertain, incredulous silence.
His mum is thinking of getting him an Enigma machine of his own so he can send his granddad secret codes. I wish she’d get me one too. On a student budget, I can barely afford a pencil sharpener.
Any how, it turns out the Brits did manage to break the code but kept it a secret for 30 years. 30 YEARS! Guess why? Because after the war, they tried to sell all the acquired Enigmas to their buddies, the Aussies and the Americans. I don’t know, but maybe the cold war would have gotten a little colder if this had slipped out.
Moral of the story:
Don’t mess with kids, they might just win a Noble Prize and leave you out of the thank you speech. And send me money… so I can buy a vintage Enigma Machine and send you secret love notes.
From the super creative mind of edgy designer Lauren McCarthy comes a diabolic new device to make you smile… painfully. This is the Happiness Hat, an excellent Christmas present for the family grouch.
Notice the Pain in the Eyes
The beanie works on mechanics that would make Vlad the Impaler proud. Here’s the description from Lauren McCarthy’s site:
An enclosed bend sensor attaches to the cheek and measures smile size, a servo motor moves a metal spike into the head inversely proportional to the degree of smile.
This essentially means that if you don’t smile, a metal spike is going to stab you on the back of the head, till you do. Which would perhaps explain the pained look in the eyes. It’s a little like taking a picture with Jack the Ripper in a photo booth, or making polite conversation with the ugliest blind date you’ve gotten yourself stuck with.
According to Lauren, the Happiness Hat will train your brain to induce a smile over a period of time. So regardless of how you feel, you’ll be baring your teeth in a psychotic grin.
The Happiness Hat has been made using Arduino, which is perhaps the coolest thing I’ve come across in a while. It’s basically an electronic platform developed for creative people. You program a chip using the Arduino lingo (relatively simpler to learn) and you come up with killer stuff. More on Arduino later.
The Happiness Hat is first in a series of Tools for Improved Social Inter-Acting.
Next time you’re pulled up for bad driving by the cops, don’t blame it on the beer, blame it on your genes. According to a research, some people have a gene variant and don’t stay on the road as well as their counterparts.
The gene variant limits the availability of a protein called brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). This protein essentially aids memory. When people are focusing on a task, BDNF is secreted. This means that folks with this variant forget faster and make more mistakes. So if you think your mum’s a bad driver, imagine what your girlfriend thinks of you- you and your parents share the same gene pool. If it’s any consolation, nearly 30% of drivers in the US have the gene variant. So you and your mum are not alone. But if you keep driving the way you do, there will definitely be fewer people on the roads. That can get lonely eventually.
Now don’t get excited with your newly acquired genetic knowledge. The research process to test this hypothesis is well… not particularly robust. 29 folks drove 15 laps on a simulator that required them to learn the nuances of a track with difficult curves and turns. The researchers measured how well participants stayed on course. 7 of the 29 participants had the gene variant. They were also the 7 who probably scored the worst. Ironically, the drivers repeated the simulator test four days later and the results were still consistent.
Researchers are convinced that this experiment on a larger scale will just strengthen their hypothesis. I don’t know, does making a hi-score in Need for Speed make you a better driver?
Coming back to the real world, lead researcher Steven Cramer, neurology associate professor at the University of California, wonders if the accident rate of people in car crashes is higher for drivers with this variant.
I hope they’ll come up with a commercial kit to test the variance, so we can brand the bad drivers with the Funky Gene Glow in the Dark Warning, and dive off the roads when we see them.
For now, watch this killer commercial. It has a car but no bad driving. So how does it link to this post? It’s got 2 Japanese guys and gruesome humor. Hah! I love it.
Science fiction comes alive at the blink of an eye. In 2012 you might just be considering a weekend getaway in outer space, provided you can afford the $4.4 Million price tag.
The Barcelona based company, Galactic Suite Ltd., is confident their project will be up and orbiting in the next 3 years. Their website even has a reservations link. According to a Reuters report:
More than 200 people have expressed an interest in traveling to the space hotel and at least 43 people have already reserved.
The hefty price tag includes an 8 week astronaut training process on an island in the Caribbean, after which you’ll be rocketed in to outer space in a craft that can seat 4 passengers, perfect for a family. The SpaceResort will be a pod about 450 kilometers above the Earth, circling the planet at 30,000 km per hour. You won’t feel the wind in your hair, there is no wind up there.
Here is something interesting, your spacecraft will be docked on the pod for the duration of your stay, why? so you won’t feel abandoned.
Now for the goodies. You’ll get to see the sun rise 15 times a day. You’ll travel around the planet in 80 minutes. Bah! Jules Verne, you obsolete giant robot. You will crawl around the pod in funky Velcro suits so you won’t go drifting about and pissing others off. Every module will have giant windows, so you can stick yourself upside down and meditate.
Sounds awesome, doesn’t it? I just have 3 points of contention. One is that their logo inspires no confidence at all. Seriously, it looks like the CEO in a fit of inspiration picked up a marker in the wrong hand and scribbled, ‘Galactic Suite’. I’m sure they’ve pumped every dollar into R&D, but doodling your logo is just shoddy business practice for a company that wants to shoot you into space for millions of dollars.
The second point that worries me is, ‘who’s their daddy?‘. Apparently, an anonymous space enthusiast billionaire has pumped a couple of billion dollars into the project. Why stay anonymous if you have faith in the proposal?
And finally… they’ve promised to pull this off by 2012, having started in 2007. Echoing the critics of this project, it does seem like an over optimistic projection of time. Will the champagne be chilled enough by then?
Then again, just the thought of space travel is super appealing. While most of us might not be able to afford the journey in 2012, we will be able to consider it in another fifteen years. By then the price would have fallen and the bugs smoothened out. That’s how technology functions. Will I try it out? Eventually… yes.
Sean Murphy could have just as well become the hero of all people afraid of roaches. He has tormented 16 roaches by stuffing them in his mouth and setting an unofficial world record. The last record was 11 roaches.
Murphy, who works at a pet store had come across the previous world record and figured he could do better. Opportunity presented itself when they started thinking of a killer Halloween stunt to drive traffic to their store.
According to Murphy, he keeps the roaches cool and comfortable before stuffing them in his mouth. But they get warm soon and start crawling around. Sometimes they tend to explore his throat. We understand if this makes you queasy, but frankly, we thrive on facts like this.
Each roach is about 2.5 inches long. These mega roaches have barbed feet which makes them slightly uncomfortable to have in the mouth. Nevertheless, Murphy has pulled the stunt off. He is awaiting a reply from the Guinness Book of World Records. Watch the super cool video and go green.
In an another indirectly related roach news, Dr. Kambhampati, an entomologist (folks who study insects), is rather bugged. His research has shown that cockroaches don’t need to pee. Seriously!
Because of an evolutionary quirk, the roaches have been outfitted with a microbe called the Blattabacterium, which through some complicated chemical means breaks down the components of uric acid. Other genes then recycle these molecules and use them to make amino acids, repair cell walls and membranes, and perform other metabolic tasks. The overly curious can read the details on Wired.com.
The fact that roaches don’t pee doesn’t bug Dr. Kambhampati. The fact that roaches cannot exist without this microbe is the key to the good doctor’s angst. Apparently new pesticides are being created which don’t kill the roach directly but destroy the microbe inside it.
I don’t see the point. How is a dead roach less important than a roach that doesn’t pee? The doctor is pissed off that his research is being used against the roaches. It’s like what Oppenheimer would have felt when he witnessed the enormous power of the H-Bomb for the first time. He was thinking of all the good stuff that could be done with atomic research, and then they almost wiped out the Japs.
However, there’s still one little thing that’s really bothering me about all this, if roaches don’t pee, why are they in my loo?
Michael Knight: I need ya buddy!
KITT: Right away Michael.
- From Knight Rider
The Viper StartSmart System on the iPhone not only locks and unlocks your car, it also turns on the ignition remotely. That’s not all, it can even open the trunk and set off the panic alarm if needed. This is where Knight Rider meets Star Trek in everyday reality.
Check it out here.
However, I’m still waiting for a Beam Me Up Scotty device. That’s when I’ll truly believe in the power of technology. Till then… all we have is toys. Killer cool toys.
You don’t have to go breathless with fun this Diwali. Go green with smoke free firecrackers.
Jaipur firecracker manufacturers have developed a new range of crackers with more whiz bang and pyrotechnics and less smoke. Apparently all it took was some chemical manipulation.
From Reuters:
“These smoke-free crackers are made by reducing the quantity of chemical content, responsible for emitting smoke. Also, we have increased the quantity of the chemicals that emanate various colors and light,” said Zahir Ahmad, a firecracker shop owner.
“We have used herbs in the manufacturing of these crackers, so that smoke is less when they are burned.”
This means you’ll be able to see a whole lot more of the horizon the day after Diwali, but it comes at an added cost. Some of these sizzlers are selling for up to Rs. 5000. Those who can afford it are not complaining and neither will their asthamatic neighbors.
Personally, I wish they would do away with the bang too. My ears hear door bells ringing 24/7 for days after the festival of light and terrible noise.
Forum’s open for discussion. Do you still buy crackers?
The next generation of Giant Robots are going to be battling Pop Divas rather than Godzilla. They’ll be belting out chart toppers. Check out this video from Japan’s CEATEC, the cutting-edge IT and electronics exhibition. The pretty little robot girl there has been fitted with Vocaloid software that enables her to sing like a pro.
One thing that’s really creeping me out is the way she’s moving her head around and making eye contact. Look into those deep, dark, data wells, that’s the future of glam. Silicon heads vs. silicon breasts, who will win the war?
And because we are in the spirit of robotics and taking a rather quirky look at it all, check out this awesome book that’s lying on my shelf. I think I’ll read it tonight.
I might be stirring the hornet’s nest here. So be it. 
Sean Murphy could have just as well become the hero of all people afraid of roaches. He has tormented 16 roaches by stuffing them in his mouth and setting an unofficial world record. The last record was 11 roaches. 
Because of an evolutionary quirk, the roaches have been outfitted with a microbe called the Blattabacterium, which through some complicated chemical means breaks down the components of uric acid. Other genes then recycle these molecules and use them to make amino acids, repair cell walls and membranes, and perform other metabolic tasks. The overly curious can read the details on 
