Who Me? Ninja!

Just got myself a new uke and can’t stop playing it. The thing is… it does old songs really well.

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Walking home on Sunday night
I passed a couple at a bus stop
Loving each other
With eyes locked into eyes
And arms locked into arms,
And just as I reached them,
I heard him say,

You know something I’ve always
Wanted to do but couldn’t do?

And though I wanted to stay
And listen,
I knew it wasn’t meant for me,
So I just made up the rest,

I want to race an airplane on a runway
And win, till it crosses me by,
It’ll be a short race,

I want to bite the end of the cone off
And suck the whole scoop through it,

I want to make love under a streetlight

(To which I’d like to imagine she’d push
him away, but just so)

I want to play hobo for a day, then take
All the loose change and toss it into the Thames,
Watching the tuppence plop, one by one,

I want to pretend I’m a busker playing an
Exotic instrument, when in fact I’d just be
Beating an old shoe box,

I want to read the Ulysses and get past
Page 255 for once,

I want to burn my laptop, Blackberry, iPad,

(And she would remind him he didn’t have an iPad)

I want to own an iPad… to burn,

(Yeah right, she’d say, but how will I reach you?)

Just call my name,

(She’d laugh- That’s silly!),

Shh… I want to find a magic lamp and wish
That I may breathe you forever,
Breathing me,

So that’s what I thought he’d want to do
That he couldn’t do,

As for me, I wanted to call someone,
And hear her say,

I was just thinking of you.

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Warning: Before you proceed, this is a little like watching your great grand mum in the buff. So viewer discretion is advised.

Hedy Lamarr, an Austrian actress went commando in a scene from Extasis, a 1933 Czech flick. She invariably made entertainment history by being the first celebrity to show off her assets in a film. The film created so much ruckus, in some circles it’s believed to have sparked off WWII. Okay that’s not true, but Hedy sure was a bomb in her time.

Here’s a quick run through of the events that followed the release of the film.

It was banned in Germany, because Hedy was a Jew. Though the truth could just as well be that it made the Nazi boys all tingly, and they’d forget to heil the Fuhrer.

Pope Pius XI had the official Vatican paper condemn it. Which leads us to wonder about the truth of the secret naughty vault somewhere there.

Hedy’s husband Fritz Mandl was so peeved, he tried to buy and burn all copies of the film. That’s not all, he even kept her prisoner in their mansion for a couple of years, till she escaped dressed as a maid, and went on to marry 5 other guys. The last of these Joes was a lawyer who helped her fight the divorce case against the second last.

Quite a fiesty woman, makes Lindsay Lohan look like a minor character in a Dickensian novel.

Just a passing thought, is it just me or do you too see a Freudian motif in the horse in the scene?

Here’s a list of Top 100 Celebrity Nude Scenes compiled by MrSkin.com. Fun in a harmless sort of way and surprising in a gag and sputter style.

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Geeks can be sexy too. Watch this video by The Guild. It’s the new Geek Anthem and the singer is a flag every stubby fingered, bespectacled, social outcast and closet genius wants to unfurl. The Guild is a very popular web series on gaming, and great fun to watch. And along with that…  believe it or not, we have a gaming video from Bollywood, shot in the 1970s. I’m still reeling from it.

The lead, Felicia Day, is one of the protagonists of The Guild. She’s the new Geek Icon and rightly so. She was home-schooled all her life and went on to do a double major in mathematics and violin performance in college. She has appeared in 8 episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer as Vi. You can also catch her in the juicily titled online musical Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. Do check out her blog.

The next clip is from Hum Joli. Your dad will remember the exciting gaming revolution this flick kicked off. It was Badminton. Perhaps the crazy little word ShuttleCock had something to do with the sparks that flew. But this was just the beginning and the 80s had a sludge of fantasy films. Before World of WarCraft there was this hairy beast on the right.

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Ninjas unearthed from the darkest realms of the internet. Watch these videos and be afraid. A stray shuriken may trim a little more than just your fringe.

Ninja Movie Auditions

I am Dangerous… watch this!

A Ninja Pays Half My Rent

A Ninja Pays Half My Rent

Pass me the Syrup… Pass me the Syrup… Please Pass me the Syrup

Ninja Baby

Ninjas aren’t made… Ninjas are born!

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Here is one kid you don’t want to say Who’s Your Daddy to. He’ll bench press on your head and use your mama as a dumbbell. Giuliano Stroe, aged five, is Romania’s answer to Rorschach from Watchmen or if you’re Indian… the Amazing Khalli.

This pint sized He Man or He Toddler has been working out since he was two. And he now holds the Guinness World Record for the fastest hand walk, 10 meters, with a weight ball between his legs.

His father, in case you do decide to ask- Who’s Your Daddy – says that he doesn’t push him very much. They go to the gym, and when he gets tired, they go play. It’s a good idea, I wouldn’t push the Incredibly Tiny Hulk either. A temper tantrum could result in a serious concussion. In all the fairness though, Little Giuliano does seem like a sweet kid.

Watch this incredible video of Giuliano Stroe working out and doing his killer gym champ moves. And while you’re at it, think of what you were doing at age five. Wetting the bed, talking to your teddy, tormenting the puppy?

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I just noticed this… U2 is performing live at Rose Bowl and the concert is streaming LIVE on Youtube… right now!

It started in India at 9am this morning. Still not too late to catch it. This is one of the world’s largest global LIVE webcasts. It’s powered by Google and it’s brilliant!

Watch it Now.

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Google Wave Invites are selling for $70 on eBay.com. The big question is… What the hell is Google Wave? And while most of us still don’t know the answer to that question, Joe Sabia has put up the funkiest Google Wave demonstration so far: A piss take on Pulp Fiction to show off Google Wave’s key features. This is truly awesome and very funny.

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Picture this: 3 Dwarfs dressed like jockeys riding piggy back on 3 guys racing down a track as the crowd cheers on. Welcome to the Midget Cup. Truly Tasteless Humor Aussie Style.

The event was hosted to promote Victoria State’s Annual Carnival in Melbourne. As expected the organizers were slam dunked from all corners for organizing the dwarf race. They responded with a perky half-baked apology. Stuart Laing of Racing Victoria said-

“We understand that you can’t please everyone and if anyone’s offended by the events of Sunday then we apologize to them.”

In peopleSpeak it means: Sorry we offended you… you humorless, tight-assed, whining dolts!

I hate to admit it but somewhere deep down inside in a wicked, twisted, Darth Vader dark way, I think Midget Racing is kind of funny. No really… picture it.

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There is no end to bizarre auctions. It turns out now that Elvis Presley’ s locks are going under the hammer for $8000-$12000.

These follicles date back to the time when he was drafted into the army and had to shave off his waves and side locks in favor of a proper crew cut.

Someone actually gathered these follicles. Apparently they were to be shipped off to his fans. They weren’t.

Now comes the interesting part. The auction house hasn’t done a DNA verification. Instead, they’ve got the hair verified by an expert in Celebrity Hair Authentication, who says that the hairs match the ones in his collection. How does that work? Texture? Feel? Taste? I don’t know, but he’s the expert and if he says so, so it is. Is it?

On that note, I’d like to auction off a cigarette stub. It’s genuinely mine with a light yellow silhouette that resembles either Rahul Mahajan’s pimple or Rakhi Sawan’t mole, depending on what reality show you watch. Any takers?

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